The same old autos
The same old puddles
The same old dug-up roads
The same old traffic cops
The same old commuters
The same old failed actors
The same old red signals
The same old beggars
The same old route to work

Life definitely needs a change…

IIFL (India Infoline)

With this post I began a long neglected hobby of mine. Criticizing ads. On TV, in newspapers ads are all around us. Some are good, some are bad and some are downright ugly. This is my effort in tearing apart the ugly, criticizing the bad and appreciating the good.

The ad industry is very close to me, almost like a dear brother lost in the kumbh-mela of the career rat race (…if you can make any sense of that sentence). I begin this endeavour with a few ads which have been making the rounds these days. One of them is the IIFL ad. This is for India Infoline a financial services company who has always seeemed to be struggling to define its brand identity. In its latest move, to renew its brand it has come out with an ad saying it has shortened its name to IIFL (India InFoLine).

Two things against this change. First, the capitalization makes no sense. Random letter capitalized to make a short form. Secondly they have come out with an ad today (http://epaper.livemint.com/ArticleImageEx.aspx?article=31_03_2010_015_003&type=1&mode=1) saying “Short is Great” and justifying their short name with famous personalities like Sachin, Gandhi, Picasso who were of “short height”. This comparison seems like a huge generalization and irrelevant if you ask me. The good thing about this ad is that it has been smartly executed. Short. Crisp. The way I like it.

AdMeter Rating: 2.5/5

PS. May I suggest IIFL to add Kim Jong Il (at a height multiple of 5′3″) to your portfolio for better diversification.

Q. How would the famous song from Omkara go if Bipasha Basu were a geek?

A. CD jalai le Nero se piya, Nero me badi aag hai…

On a side note, the domain is about to expire. Accepting donations now for server hosting costs.

1) Gateway of India
2) The Taj hotel with a few pigeons.
3) Powai night skyline.
4) An airplane landing/taking off.
5) A child laughing.
6) Bandra Worli Sea-Link.
7) Inside of a shopping mall.
8 ) A policeman taking a bribe.
9) ???

Deadline for these pictures? By the end of this year. Wish me luck.

Recently Tata Croma had an offer on one of their products. They were bundling a set of Sennheiser headphones with an ipod nano. It seems this offer was quite popular with the people as the headphones were out of stock when my wife and I went in the evening to check it out.

What is more interesting is the series of events which took place there. We first went to the Croma store and inquired about the offer. They said the headphones were out of stock, but you could buy the ipod now and get the free headphones in a week or so. There was an Apple store just close to the Croma store. So we went there to check out the prices. The price was exactly the same in both places. My wife being the way she is, asked the Apple sales guy about the Croma offer. Surprisingly the sales guy was ready to add some value add for us. He offered us a USB based speaker to match the Croma offer. I examined the speaker and found it not too exciting. So we told him we’ll rather buy from the Croma store. Before leaving, we directly asked him if he could match the offer of Tata Croma store and give us a decent pair of headphones. He called up his boss but sadly his boss didn’t agree. So we went back to the Tata Croma and booked an ipod nano from there.

Why I find this interesting is that normally the high-end stores/brands like these do not offer any value-add on their products. It would be rare to see an Apple store in the US even trying to match such offers from let’s say Walmart or some such store. But here in India the equation seems completely different. The exclusive Apple store had to offer a significant value-add compared to the mass retailer which was definitely taking a significant chunk of their sales. Even though the products on both sides are the same, but the sales guy would be taking a hit just because the Apple store couldn’t match the offer. Note that this Apple store was the same one which once offered me to load new apps and games if I bought an ipod touch from their store.

So its Big Bazaar against Converse/Adidas/Reebok, or Tata Croma against Apple, or a local mobile phone dealer versus Nokia Exclusive stores. Unless the branded store can offer some kind of value-add, the mass market stores would kill their sales.  Thankfully some of these branded stores are taking note of this fact. And that is good news for the Indian consumer. But the best way to get such offers – is to simply ask. As an Indian consumer, you are well within your rights to do so without feeling the least embarrassed.

A picture I took somewhere in Mumbai stuck in traffic.

So the internet on my mobile has conked again. The fact that the internet has stopped working frustrates me less than the fact that I have to deal with a customer care executive to get the problem resolved. Every time I call customer care, they give me a different reason why the problem is happening. They will make me do random things on the phone. And in the end, the solution is always the same. “Sir, I will surely help you with the problem. You first need to switch off the device, remove the battery and sim-card. Then wait for 10 minutes and restart your mobile phone.” And just like that, the mobile phone will cure itself. Sorry boss, my smart-phone isn’t that smart. And neither are you.

PS. There is an analogy to the universal solution for the desktop computer. Minimize all windows, right click on the desktop and click Refresh a couple of time. That supposedly solves all the problems. Or if that doesn’t work, there is the good ol’ format command. Guaranteed to solve all your PC problems.

It had been a long day at college. The professor had bored the class with his tedious lecturing. Rajit had bunked the afternoon classes and played cricket with his friends. Everyone had now dispersed and Rajit was back home. There was nothing on TV. Bored and frustrated, he whipped out his mobile phone from his pocket and started reading the message again. He had received the message last evening. It was from an unknown number. It simply said, “If you’re brave enough, go visit the bridge over the Jalputra river between 6-7pm tomorrow.” Confused, he had read the message again to make sure. Obviously someone was trying to crack a joke.

Last night he had gone out to watch a movie and had not paid much attention to the message. But now Rajit dialled the number from which the SMS had come. Strangely, there was no such number. Now curious, Rajit switched on his computer. He entered the number into a search engine online and tried to find out if any one else had received such a message. Zero results.

I got to check this out, Rajit thought. The Jalputra river was just on the outskirts of the town he lived in. There was a single bridge over the river. An old dilapidated bridge, it was built many years ago and was now unused. The reason why the message seemed all the more mysterious to him was the fact that someone knew that Rajit lived near the river and had specifically targeted him. All this caused a keen sense of intrigue in his mind. He was a great fan of mystery novels. And he loved to write about mysteries too. And here was a mystery waiting for him in his own town. What’s the harm in checking it out anyway? he thought. If it is a prank played by someone, well and good. If there was some actual mystery waiting for him, it would make for a great post on his blog, he figured.

He called out to his mother, saying that he was going out for some work and would be back by 8pm. Rajit planned to visit the bridge and see what the SMS was all about. Then he’d probably spend some time with his friends before heading back home for dinner. He put on the hands-free connection and pumped up the volume on his mobile. Rajit started his bike and made his way towards the highway. The Jalputra river was to the south of town and it would probably take him about 20-30 minutes depending on the traffic.

The traffic was unusually light for this time of the day. He had now reached the highway. Another five minutes and he would be near the bridge. Far ahead he could already see the river. The Jalputra river was the major source of water for his town and other neighbouring villages and this time of the year it was overflowing with water. The sun was setting at one end of the horizon and it looked as if the river had flowed out of the sun.

As he parked his bike near the bridge, he stopped. Did he just hear what he think he heard? Did someone just whisper “Welcome” in his ears? Or was it just the song? Carefully Rajit removed his helmet, and took off the headphones. It was just the song, he figured. He placed the helmet on his bike and locked the bike. Rajit made his way towards the bridge. It was deserted. Not many people come here anyway. This bridge was built some 20-30 years ago by the municipality and had been damaged during a flood. Now with broken railings and arches, it was barely walkable. He stepped his way across the gaps in the bridge and made his way to the center.

Rajit was half-expecting that his friends would probably be hiding somewhere behind the bushes. They would scream and jump out and have a merry laugh at Rajit’s expense. Then they would all go back to the local mithaiwalla and have some hot samosas. At least Rajit had taken up the dare bravely, he thought.

But there was no such scream. There was just the whistling of the wind between the branches of the trees bordering the river bank. The water flowed furiously below the bridge and the rickety bridge vibrated lightly with the water’s force. Rajit had reached the centre of the bridge and had found nothing strange. Except for the sounds of nature around him, there was nothing. Slowly his ears become impervious to even those sounds. The birds which were chirping had stopped. There was now a pin drop silence. He just stood there looking blankly out at the river. Rajit wanted to turn around and walk back to his bike quickly. He wanted to meet his friends and go back home. But something stopped him from doing so.

The sun had now gone below the horizon and there was a reddish hue in the sky. Rajit moved near the broken railing of the bridge. Then he saw it. On the railing, between the layers of peeled-off paint, someone had scratched with a sharp object. Rajit slowly read what was written on the railing, and he stared at the words,”look below rajit.”

He stepped back instinctively and almost tripped. His leg was trapped among one of the gaps in the bridge. He carefully lifted his leg out from the hole and steadied himself. He walked back to the railing. He leaned over and stared at the water flowing beneath the bridge. The water was clear and he could see the bottom. There were rocks, and stones and other debris on the riverbed. All kinds of shapes seemed to be trembling in the water. He strained his eyes to get a steady look. And then he saw it. His eyes just froze. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t take his hands off the railing. He darted his eyes away from the water back to the words on the railing. First he thought he had just imagined what he saw in the water. But he was too afraid to look back to check. He would not check. With great effort, he put his hand in his pocket and took out his mobile. He slowly composed a message on the screen, “If you’re brave enough, go visit the bridge over the Jalganga river between 6-7pm tomorrow” and sent it out to his friend. He put the mobile back into his pocket. As soon as he heard the familiar double beep of the delivered SMS, he climbed on to the railing. And then he took a step forward into the dark water and in the trees, the birds started chirping.

Woohoo! Finally found an application which will let me blog from my cellphone. Testing 1 2 3. I’m the king of the world now!