A picture I took somewhere in Mumbai stuck in traffic.

So the internet on my mobile has conked again. The fact that the internet has stopped working frustrates me less than the fact that I have to deal with a customer care executive to get the problem resolved. Every time I call customer care, they give me a different reason why the problem is happening. They will make me do random things on the phone. And in the end, the solution is always the same. “Sir, I will surely help you with the problem. You first need to switch off the device, remove the battery and sim-card. Then wait for 10 minutes and restart your mobile phone.” And just like that, the mobile phone will cure itself. Sorry boss, my smart-phone isn’t that smart. And neither are you.

PS. There is an analogy to the universal solution for the desktop computer. Minimize all windows, right click on the desktop and click Refresh a couple of time. That supposedly solves all the problems. Or if that doesn’t work, there is the good ol’ format command. Guaranteed to solve all your PC problems.

It had been a long day at college. The professor had bored the class with his tedious lecturing. Rajit had bunked the afternoon classes and played cricket with his friends. Everyone had now dispersed and Rajit was back home. There was nothing on TV. Bored and frustrated, he whipped out his mobile phone from his pocket and started reading the message again. He had received the message last evening. It was from an unknown number. It simply said, “If you’re brave enough, go visit the bridge over the Jalputra river between 6-7pm tomorrow.” Confused, he had read the message again to make sure. Obviously someone was trying to crack a joke.

Last night he had gone out to watch a movie and had not paid much attention to the message. But now Rajit dialled the number from which the SMS had come. Strangely, there was no such number. Now curious, Rajit switched on his computer. He entered the number into a search engine online and tried to find out if any one else had received such a message. Zero results.

I got to check this out, Rajit thought. The Jalputra river was just on the outskirts of the town he lived in. There was a single bridge over the river. An old dilapidated bridge, it was built many years ago and was now unused. The reason why the message seemed all the more mysterious to him was the fact that someone knew that Rajit lived near the river and had specifically targeted him. All this caused a keen sense of intrigue in his mind. He was a great fan of mystery novels. And he loved to write about mysteries too. And here was a mystery waiting for him in his own town. What’s the harm in checking it out anyway? he thought. If it is a prank played by someone, well and good. If there was some actual mystery waiting for him, it would make for a great post on his blog, he figured.

He called out to his mother, saying that he was going out for some work and would be back by 8pm. Rajit planned to visit the bridge and see what the SMS was all about. Then he’d probably spend some time with his friends before heading back home for dinner. He put on the hands-free connection and pumped up the volume on his mobile. Rajit started his bike and made his way towards the highway. The Jalputra river was to the south of town and it would probably take him about 20-30 minutes depending on the traffic.

The traffic was unusually light for this time of the day. He had now reached the highway. Another five minutes and he would be near the bridge. Far ahead he could already see the river. The Jalputra river was the major source of water for his town and other neighbouring villages and this time of the year it was overflowing with water. The sun was setting at one end of the horizon and it looked as if the river had flowed out of the sun.

As he parked his bike near the bridge, he stopped. Did he just hear what he think he heard? Did someone just whisper “Welcome” in his ears? Or was it just the song? Carefully Rajit removed his helmet, and took off the headphones. It was just the song, he figured. He placed the helmet on his bike and locked the bike. Rajit made his way towards the bridge. It was deserted. Not many people come here anyway. This bridge was built some 20-30 years ago by the municipality and had been damaged during a flood. Now with broken railings and arches, it was barely walkable. He stepped his way across the gaps in the bridge and made his way to the center.

Rajit was half-expecting that his friends would probably be hiding somewhere behind the bushes. They would scream and jump out and have a merry laugh at Rajit’s expense. Then they would all go back to the local mithaiwalla and have some hot samosas. At least Rajit had taken up the dare bravely, he thought.

But there was no such scream. There was just the whistling of the wind between the branches of the trees bordering the river bank. The water flowed furiously below the bridge and the rickety bridge vibrated lightly with the water’s force. Rajit had reached the centre of the bridge and had found nothing strange. Except for the sounds of nature around him, there was nothing. Slowly his ears become impervious to even those sounds. The birds which were chirping had stopped. There was now a pin drop silence. He just stood there looking blankly out at the river. Rajit wanted to turn around and walk back to his bike quickly. He wanted to meet his friends and go back home. But something stopped him from doing so.

The sun had now gone below the horizon and there was a reddish hue in the sky. Rajit moved near the broken railing of the bridge. Then he saw it. On the railing, between the layers of peeled-off paint, someone had scratched with a sharp object. Rajit slowly read what was written on the railing, and he stared at the words,”look below rajit.”

He stepped back instinctively and almost tripped. His leg was trapped among one of the gaps in the bridge. He carefully lifted his leg out from the hole and steadied himself. He walked back to the railing. He leaned over and stared at the water flowing beneath the bridge. The water was clear and he could see the bottom. There were rocks, and stones and other debris on the riverbed. All kinds of shapes seemed to be trembling in the water. He strained his eyes to get a steady look. And then he saw it. His eyes just froze. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t take his hands off the railing. He darted his eyes away from the water back to the words on the railing. First he thought he had just imagined what he saw in the water. But he was too afraid to look back to check. He would not check. With great effort, he put his hand in his pocket and took out his mobile. He slowly composed a message on the screen, “If you’re brave enough, go visit the bridge over the Jalganga river between 6-7pm tomorrow” and sent it out to his friend. He put the mobile back into his pocket. As soon as he heard the familiar double beep of the delivered SMS, he climbed on to the railing. And then he took a step forward into the dark water and in the trees, the birds started chirping.

Woohoo! Finally found an application which will let me blog from my cellphone. Testing 1 2 3. I’m the king of the world now!

Once upon a time there was a legend such as Sachin Tendulkar…

So finally someone has done it. A batsman has hit 200 runs in One Day International cricket. And what can be more satisfying than the fact that the person who most deserved to get this has done so. Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar has become the first cricketer to score 200 runs in ODIs. And by no means was it against a weak side. It was against South Africa who may have reduced in strength from their days of glory yet are still a power to reckon with.

Today’s knock seemed effortless to Sachin. As he found himself reaching nearer the magical yet elusive score of 200, he had the whole of India supporting him. From what I heard from friends and colleagues later, entire office cateens were filled cheering for Sachin. Online, twitter was buzzing (no pun intended) with four of ten trending topics related to Sachin’s 200.

People were more eager to see Sachin on strike than to see Dhoni hit sixes and fours. The moment of victory came in the last over. Although he had reached his previous highest score of 194 in the 46th over itself, it was only in the final over that he managed to get the strike for the final run. And when he did get the strike, sachin wasted no time playing the ball gently away to take a single. It was a muted yet one of his most important runs.

And when he reached the other side, a volcano erupted in India. Sachin had arrived on the cricket scene. Once again. For the little master, the journey has been long. Filled with ups and down, battling injuries and criticisms over his ability to continue playing, his career has had a major peak this year. The little master still bats strong, able to demolish the strongest of bowling atacks in a mere couple of hours. If there was a player who has tilted more matches in his team’s side, it is Sachin.

Along with the achievement of being the first to score 200, this was a fitting reply to the recent controversy which dogged him briefly. The Shiv Sena had questioned his integrity in one of their editorials. Although the Indian public and media had rallied with Sachin and the issue fizzled out quickly, this was the answer Sachin was waiting to give. They say the pen is mightier than the sword, but Sachin’s bat proved mightier than their  pen.

It is amazing how much love, adulation and respect the man commands (and rightfully deserves) from the people of India. There are hardly a handful who can claim of such adoration, less who actually deserve it. Sachin is someone who can bring India together, halt the whole country to a stand-still when he’s batting and can be sure that the country shares his grief when he gets run out on 99 due to a bad call.

Hats off to this utter genius of a player. May he amass hundres of runs more and give Indians something to look up to, and future generation something to talk about. Once upon a time there was a legend such as Sachin Tendulkar. This is how coaches in the future will introduce Sachin to young aspiring cricketers.

Click the image for a better view

I do not want a 9 to 6 job
but I want a corner office
I want to travel the world
and I want to feel the wind in my hair
I want to own the city I live in
and I want to live by my rules
I want more bandwidth
I want to fly a plane

The world economy has not even recovered fully from the excesses of Wall Street in the sub-prime mortgage crisis, and these fellows are all set to seek out the next opportunity in financial speculation. A report today in mint describes one such exotic instrument already being explored on Wall Street. A paragraph from the article explains it simply, and clearly this time the stakes seem higher and the risks wilder.

The bankers plan to buy “life settlements”, life insurance policies that ill and elderly people sell for cash—$400,000 (around Rs1.95 crore) for a $1 million policy, say, depending on the life expectancy of the insured person. Then they plan to “securitize” these policies, in Wall Street jargon, by packaging hundreds or thousands together into bonds. They will then resell those bonds to investors, like big pension funds, who will receive the payouts when people with the insurance die.

The earlier the policyholder dies, the bigger the return—though if people live longer than expected, investors could get poor returns or even lose money. (http://www.livemint.com/2009/09/06215505/New-exotic-investments-emergin.html)

A sick way (no pun intended!) to make money. If anything, this has all the elements of a blockbuster bubble and the crash thereafter. Now it remains to be seen whether the governments around the world have learnt anything from the last crisis. What made the story more humorous was that this story was printed along side another hopeful story – one about the global economy starting to expand.

Oh well, boys will be boys, Wall Street will be Wall Street and MBAs will be rascals.

Month 1
Proj Mngr: We have completed unit testing of most of the reports. The data loading for some of the months is left because of delays in providing the same by the user.
Client: How do you define ‘most’? ‘Some’ has no meaning for me. Please be more specific in your status reports.
Proj Mngr: Ok, I’ll take care of that next time.

Month 2
Proj Mngr: We have completed UAT of 90% of reports. Loading of data for months of Jul and Aug 09 (2 months out of 24) is pending.
Client: Let’s not get fooled by numbers.
Proj Mngr: …..

Now what’s a rookie project manager gotta do in this situation? How do should the project manager explain the status to the client without “getting fooled by numbers” and at the same time “being more specific”? Any smart ideas?

Disclaimer: This post is hypothetical, and has no relation to any event, object or person alive, dead or in a zombie state.